If your new workplace is just a mismatch, but there’s nothing truly wrong with it — such as being a big organization when you prefer small ones, or using Ruby when you prefer PHP, or doing Agile when you hate meetings — then it’s probably not worth trying to change things. And if you find yourself in a place that’s cartoon-villain-level bad, where the product is a puppy-kicking machine and managers drink fresh unicorn tears during meetings, then you should probably just run for the nearest exit. But what if you find yourself at a place that’s a bit dysfunctional, but you think it has the potential for improvement?
Read MoreProgress isn't always linear. It doesn't always come in the form of big concrete achievements. There's a big difference between feeling like I did some things that were failures versus feeling that I myself am a failure.
Read MoreI've discovered that giving myself room to be bad at some things frees up a lot of mental energy that I can use for the things I really do want to be good at. I spent so much time in my past worrying that if I let myself be bad at anything then I'd end up being bad at everything, but by not giving myself any space to just enjoy things I ended up burning out instead.
Read MoreI’ve used to-do lists and planners to try to bring some order to things, to help me remember what needs to be done, and to keep track of goals. I’ve been using habit tracking to help me maintain healthy routines. I’ve had to reassess what is really important to me, and figure out how that changes over time, and sometimes I’ve quit things, giving present-me some room to breathe and to better support future-me.
Read MoreI hope that talking about my own failures will help make it easier for other people to talk about theirs, to realize that we don't have to be perfect all the time in this industry, or in this world. Trying and failing is still failing, but it's also still trying, and being able to keep trying, even if all you're succeeding at right now is getting out of bed most days, is how we're able to keep fighting to make things better.
Read MoreI think it would benefit all of us to think about why we define ourselves the way we do. During the years I felt like I didn't belong in this industry, where I didn't know anyone in tech in my demographic, a company identity felt safer than an individual one. I didn't feel like I belonged in tech, but surely these tech companies did, so I hid behind their identities as a way of coping with my impostor syndrome.
Read MoreI'm going to keep talking about burnout, because we as an industry talk too little about the effects this work has on us. Now more than ever, one of the best things we can do is reach out to and support each other, to listen to each other and help each other.
Read MoreSometimes we want to quit things, but quitting things can be hard. Often times, the reasons we shy away from quitting something come down to fear, and it can be very helpful to figure out where that fear is coming from. As difficult as it can be, quitting things is a great way of helping to keep your life balanced, fulfilling, and healthy.
Read MoreWhen you’re severely burnt out, cynicism and pessimism become coping mechanisms, because if you expect mistrust and misalignment from the beginning, you won’t be negatively surprised by them, as if the expectation of hurt will keep it from stinging quite so badly. Snark becomes a shield you hide behind because it’s easier to do that than to deal with being disappointed by another colleague or company.
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